Where did you go?!

So in the dead of the night amidst the pounding rain,
The cool and the wet breeze ever so brushed against the face,
And as I huffed and puffed to keep up with "the pace",
An apparition seemed to have appeared at the end of the line of sight,
That started to dominate my thoughts with its full might;
But this phenomenon was indeed welcome despite "it" being profoundly foreboding,
As it seemed to have broken in a way my stupor which had successfully proven itself to be lethal all this while, but yet had been so immensely comforting;
Like for a bird "trapped" in a gold cage,
That so efficiently and brutally suppressed the rage;
And while I, albeit subconsciously and thus breaking the habit, struggled to prevent the thoughts to wander,
The "revelation" was nothing less than a wonder;
For the ghost of my former self was only the apparition,
Laden with cheerfulness, creativity, love and compassion it seemed to be wanting to embrace me with copious determination;
But it couldn't move any closer,
My own mazes had proven to be a lot tougher;
And so, as a mist began to form around "it",
I screamed helplessly and noiselessly as I felt like being sucked into a bottomless pit,
And while the ghost started fading into the nothingness from where it had come,
I heard myself moaning just as I started getting sucked back into the same old quagmire,
Please come back!
Where did you go!?
Where did you go!?
~Sidd